Listening

When i was in high school and even most of college, i was always the group leader. In high school this was mainly because i was the only kid willing to speak in front of the class or willing to ask the group a question. It was during this time that i found out that i actually liked being the leader. This would show as i would do all of the big "leader" things with my youth group and later on, small groups in college. I wasn't the most talkative nor did i always have something to say, but i usually lead, asked questions and then waited for a response. The SoCal retreat was especially good for me as it allowed me to direct a group of my own peers in a group discussion on the various topics of the weekend retreat. Then in college i started being part of different small groups on campus. My freshman year, prior to the wheelchair, i was involved in way too many. Service group, Groovy Guys and a few others. It was in college i started to learn about leadership through service. It changed my perspective on what it meant to be a leader. Rather than telling a group what to do, it is being the guide and more importantly, a servant to those who are in the group you are trying to lead. The Spiritual Life Advisor program at Pepperdine really shaped this idea in me.
Graduating and getting into missions and full time ministry as a new lesson. I had to learn how to speak up in my beliefs, but also i had to re-learn how to listen. I was having to listen with more intent on not only what some one was saying as in words, but what they were really trying to convey in idea and emotion. I knew about this through practice in other times in my life, but now it was a daily part of my life, almost survival, especially when someone doesn't event speak the same language. (yeah i am really good at charades now)
Now, in my life i am finding that i am listening more in group settings. I am part of a weekly Bible study and I noticed that I don't say much during the discussion. I don't know fully why this is. I mean, i love the conversation, and have things running in my head, but i don't say them. I am not ashamed or scared to say them, rather i am finding that i love to listen to other peoples thoughts so much more than my own. I am not a loner in the group (atleast i don't think so) and i have kept up with the reading, but as soon as i sit down with my cup of coffee, my ears turn on and tune in to what is going on around me with intent and I love it.

Allan