Of Allan and his guitar heros pt. 1

So i pomised a blog about this a little while ago and I am excited to get to it, and that would be my obession/border line love affair with the guitar.  I started playing a little over 12.5 years ago with my grandfathers late 70's Harmony acoustic that my mom bought for him at a garage sale.  I now have about 3 acoustics, 2 electrics, a classical, mandolin and 2 ukuleles.  

So how did it all start?  Well, it started with a friend of mine, Jeff.  We were best friends and he had his dads guitar laying around and started playing it, so of course I had to know a little something too. I found my grandpa's guitar and started at it.  I remember that the first song I learned all the way through, and still do know, was Green Day's, "When I come around". A classic (well, now at least)  I can't remember how long it took me to get that stupid song down, bt when i did i felt great. I learned something very important at that point and time, learn to play songs you like.  My next song, and still probably one of my favorite songs to play was Weezer's, "say it ain't so".  Playing that song made me feel like a rock star.  It was also at the time when i knew the guitar was something i could get into.

Now for any other budding guitar player, the first few years are filled with pain and frustration.  I was no exception.   I tell people that the first 2 years should hurt, I know mine did.  But as time went by my fingers grew more and more accustomed to the different chord shapes, althogh i still didn't really know want a 'chord' was. It wasn't until i was at a ministry camp that i leard was G-C-D-Em was and that was about 3 years into playing the guitar. I was and still am self taught.  I rely mainly on picking up stuff my ear and looking at tabs. I wish that i had taken lessons, but glad for where not taken lesson has taken me so far.

Now being from the Chruch of Christ, there is a problem with me playing that guitar, and basically, it would be that I...play guitar.  When i started I had no idea what kind of trouble that it could get me into!  The church i grew up was great to me in this aspect. They let me lead worhsip with the youth group and I learned early on that there is a difference between leading worshp and singing in worship.  But it wasn't all like that. I will always remember the little old lady that said, "your going to hell for that....you know right!?" There have been times when I was told I could lead worship with my guitar after a small gathering, and then, as soon as my part came they stopped everything and started passing out icecreme.  I was not going to do my part there.  This was something that i never expected to find when i started and don't it believe will ever truly leave me.  I truly do understand why some people believe it is wrong and I hold nothing against them, i  just disagree with them.  I now find less and less of people that i disagree with about this, which i like, but at that same time, i hold nothing against those who disagree with me.

Well, I wanted to take some time in all of this and show a few of my guitar heros. These are people whos technique, skill and creativity I have ever so poorly tried to imitate and learn from. Please feel free to comment.....

This was a song that started so much of my fascination with the guitar. Its not just that these guys are fast, its that they are creative, very clean and VERY VERY fast.

You just have to love this song and this band. I still love to play this song and have grow to appreciate the skill that it takes to write a great song from these guys.

I saw Phil Keaggy at Pepperdine play this song and it got me hooked with what you could do with a guitar w/o the use of a pick. It was also the start of my want for a looping pedal. (which I now have)

Ok, I will be putting up another post of some of my other guitar heroes. I promise to put up more videos.

Allan

Things of China 2

So this is a continuation of my previous China post "Things of China 1". In that post I talk about the lessons that I learned through being somewhat excommunicated while doing Work in China. It was a very dark yet very big time of growth in my life. Now I continue with what I learned in my last semester in China.

Again I am writing this not out of spite or anger, but rather to get some things off of my chest. It has been nearly 2 years since I returned and i have had some time to process my feelings and thoughts from that time. So here we go......

Coming back Cali

Getting back into California was heaven. I ate, ate, ate and ate. Cheese was on the menu almost everyday, as were Deluxe Chili Cheese fries from Del Taco and In-N-Out. It was interesting coming back to Cali because it was a major case of reverse culture shock. It wasn't that I didn't miss everything, it just I had to re-adjust to life in the states. Driving was more than stressful, super markets never seemed so big and well....I missed the Family in China. I loved being with all my friends and family in Cali and it felt so good to be with them, hang out, play guitar and well....drink amazing beer and wine. Anyone that knows me knows I love trying new wines and beers. I hate being anywhere near drunk for several reasons (First I know Our Father doesn't want us to be drunk and second I HATE not having control over my body, and well, hang overs suck.) But I love the art and craft of brewing and the skill and taste of wine making. They are liquid art. I say all of this because there was almost NO good beer or wine in China, I would have to go about 4 hours by bus just to get to a city where i could buy good beer, wine, COFFEE, bread, cereal, milk, cheese, candy, brownies, soups, PB & J or butter. Yeah, so I was in heaven.

Going Home
So being in Cali for a summer was great at the same time, I felt the pull of my former life in China. I left America with 2 things in my mind and heart. First, what in the world am I doing?! Was I not just going back to the lions den of loneliness? Second, I never want to fly on this airline ever again! Way too small seats and well....the movies sucked.
Getting back into my apartment was great. The first few nights were spent being around Brothers and Sisters that I loved. The big talk was about starting a new meeting as soon as they saw me. I knew to expect this, but I really didn't want to address this just yet. This was part of the past year still looming overhead. Many people wanted me to just start up a new Meeting and that would kinda make things better. I knew it wouldn't, but it sure did seem that way. I knew that if i started one by myself that it would still hold too many strings to what happened before. This may seem selfish, but it was never out of pride that I wanted to start anything new. I knew there Chinese were hurting, bad, yet if something new was going to start, i knew it was going to have to be not just becuase of me.

The Taylors
While settling in, I also heard about a new-ish couple in town, Taylors. They were from Tennessee and it kinda freaked me out. I knew i wanted to hang out with them, but didn't know how much. Within a week we had met and planed to hit up dinner and a tea house. Within the first few hours that i met Dale and Lisa i could tell they were different from many of the other foreigers that I had meet before in China. We just clicked. Our talk was filled with laughter and they had a vision very similar to mine, meetings where the foreigners were in 2nd or 3 place. Offering support and leadership but not being the "leaders". They wanted to be in China because of exactly that, they wanted to be in CHINA. Dale was reading a book about Mao and Lisa had a good grasp on Madarin much more than the other foreigners in our town.
With many of the other foreigners I felt like i had to walk on egg shells around them. One wrong word and I would achieve an awkard silence or rolled eyes. In some ways this was fairly amusing and I would do it just to get a reaction. Other times it was in moments of sencerity and I was looked on as wrong. With Dale and Lisa I spoke openly. Weather we agreed or thought totally in the opposite direction, we still showed a mutual love for eachother. I never worried about how i would make the feel uncomfortable that I enjoyed having A beer or that I like the Godfather. We were united because we had a common goal, serving our Father. And within a month we started something new.

A new Meeting
It was a small dinner at the Taylor's when we decided to start up a new Meeting. It wasn't a secret that we were thinking about it, but it took a bit of Thought (that is not a typo) and care to really decide if we wanted to do that. The last thing I wanted to do was cause another stir, but it seemed like if we continued to meet with the other foreigners THAT would cause an even bigger stir.
My thoughts at this time very mixed, and I didn't show it, or atleast I didn't think i showed them. I tried to act confident about what we were doing but it was such a worry on my mind. I didn't know how the other foreigners were going to act. If we were going to have to have a bunch of new 'meetings' about what was being taught or how we were wrong.
Looking back now i was scared. I had so many of the memories and feelings still clogged up inside me and i didn't know exactly how to let out. Dale and Lisa became refuge for me. We talked alot. Much of which wasn't serious, mainly just regular talk, something that anyone in a foreign country needs. It was relief not to walk on egg shells in conversation or wonder what would come back to haunt me.
We started the new Meeting at their place in mid-October, i think. It was a small group of mainly the people that didn't had felt outed or the other foreigners and a few new students that Dale and Lisa knew. It was simple, open and wonderful. I felt like so many of the other meetings tried to take American meetings and make them happen in China. We didn't want that and our Meeting showed it. We had several Brothers and Sisters share lessons, songs could be led by anyone in the group and the songs were sung all in Chinese and we tried to sing mainly songs written by Chinese. The Chinese loved it, but there were some challenges.
Several times we were asked why we didn't do things like the other foreigners. Then there was a time a Chinese brother was told we were doing things wrong. It was a challenge. We tried to answer with grace and love towards the other foreigners, but, atleast for me, it was hard sometimes. I think Dale and Lisa let these things roll off their back better than I.
Our Meetings went on, with numbers varying from few to many, but we really didn't care about numbers, we cared about the people coming.

Getting Ready to Go
For my last two and a half months in China I spent as much time as possible between Dale and Lisa and my Chinese Brothers and Sisters. There are many other stories to tell, but i don't want to get off focused too much. I mainly want to come back to the Chinese.
I knew early in the semester that this would probably be my last semester in China, atleast for a while. I had an student loans that i wasn't able to pay off and well, i wanted to get to paying them off and get my credential solidified. I didn't want to leave, really didn't want to leave. By the end of December I was planning a 3 week trip from Chang Chun (north eastern China) back down to jing Zhou. I had done this before and loved being on the road. As i was getting ready to leave so were many of the Chinese.
In China it is not uncommon for someone to just pick up and go in a weekend. One week a Brother or Sister would be finishing classes and then Friday say, "I am leaving to 'Random city on the other side of China' tomorrow, i want to say goodbye" Many people were looking and finding jobs all over the country. I made special time to hang out with some who had had an especially large impact in my life. They were the few that i had known since day 1. To me they were as close as an of my friends in the states and leaving them would be like any of my friends leaving. We had a great time! One of my favorite times was smoking cigars with some of the Chinese Brothers at a Tea house and then on another night going out to eat dog. (Yes, it is good and you should try it some day) We had a blast.

Leaving
I hit the road for my travels with a sad heart knowing i would be coming back just to say goodbye. It was a good trip, but i had some of my worst experiences ever! I visited a friend that was really struggling in some of the same ways that I had. She was with a group of other young women who were much more conservative than her. I came to visit for a few days and we had fun. I did happen to roll a couple of eyes as I play a song called, "Pink Triangle", but other than that, didn't cause too much of a stir. I then went to Beijing on a sleeper bus. I could write a how page on how bad that was, but will save you from it for now. From Beijing i went back to Wuhan and stayed with Marisol one last time. Again her place was filled with laughter and good food. I can never thank her enough for all the mexican food i had at her place.
Going back to Jingzhou was interesting. The ride seemed almost short. (a normal trip on bus was about 4 hours) I knew all the land marks and felt like i was really going home. I had only a few days before my plane took off to say my goodbyes and do some last minute shopping. It was a whirl wind of busyness.
The day i was suppose to leave I had a more than a few Chinese Brothers and Sisters stay the night at my place. They helped me clean my place, get thinges ready for the next guy and tried to help me pack. In the morning I got everything ready and had my bags in hand when i had to stop. It was a tradition that whenever a Brother or Sister would leave, the Family would gather over them. I had done this with many and now it was my turn. I have never been to filled with joy, sadness and hope. They spoke kind words in English and Chinese. My favorite request was that i find a "hot girlfriend" (check). I left feeling nothing but love and that love still remains in my heart.

A Uncertian Adjustment
Coming back to the states was interesting. I knew I wanted to go back to China and was telling people and myself to get back there by 2012. I still hold that to this day. My plans are to get the rest of my credential cleared, maybe go back to school for a masters and then head to China for a while. How long i don't know. I love the quote, "If you want to make The Father laugh, make plans" I am trying to keep my heart and plans open to His will. I know that I want to go back to doing that kind of Work, and China is very much in my heart, but I want to be willing to change to His will. That is still a lesson i am trying and will always be trying to learn.

Allan

Low Strung - Don't Stop Believing

Probably one of my favorite songs covered by a quartet. I am watching the wedding singer and well, i just thought i needed to post this.

Allan

Of Girlfriends and Cobras

As you know either through me or through this blog, I have a girlfriend. This is a good thing. I am a big fan of having a girlfriend and suggest this for many of my other buddies, just as they had suggested it for me. Now as being in a new relationship (3 months Dec 20) we are just starting to learn about each other; what makes us tick, pet peeves, likes/dislikes and the list can go on. Of the many many things that I finding out about her, I am finding that we do have some major differences. Not that these are bad, I don't want just a replica of myself, but since they are there we are trying to have fun in figuring out what to do with these differences.
One notable one that came up was about me planning a small trip to Uganda to visit a missionary family. Now, I have not been to Uganda but from the blog pics and stories it sounds like something right up my alley. I was on the phone with my lovely girl and was talking about my trip. She was so supportive in wanting me to go and fulfill the plan i have laid ahead of me. I was telling her of the different places i wanted to see, people i would meet and then i mentioned a small story about a cobra skin that found on the grounds where the missionaries live. To me this was awesome! Cobras in Africa! How cool! I mean, i want a cobra story, nothing involving death or permanent injury, but something that makes you go......wow! that was cool. Well, being new to a relationship i had yet to learn a new and important lesson, don't tell the girlfriend things cool dangerous things that you want to do in Africa. I started to explain to Kelly that I would love to and a "Cobra Story". I have stories about guns, weird foods, dangerous spiders and bugs, being lost (way too many of those stories) and well, a cobra story would be a nice one to add onto the list.
Then something caught me off guard...a small word...only 2 letters..."no". Huh? I thought to myself, what is this word? And who is saying it to me.......? Yes it was Kelly saying the word "no" repeatedly. Apparently she was not thrilled with the idea that i wanted a cobra story, and really didn't want me to have a cobra story. She said, "I don't want a dead boyfriend". At this point and time a few things hit me, 1) Kelly really cares for me and doesn't want me to die 2) Why doesn't she want me to have a cobra story!??!?!?
I have always been careful when i traveled, really, i don't like to have any trouble on the road, where ever i travel. And i never try to do anything too stupid, but there is this side of me...the "guy" side of me that thinks things like cobras are cool! I don't really want a cobra "major injury that leads to me losing an appendage" story. Rather a cobra "wow that was really cool and i lived without a trip to the hospital" story.

We will see what happens.

Allan

Things of China1

Well I may be writing this for my own sake but I don't care. It has been just shy of 2 years since i have been back I have had sometime to reflect and look back at what in the world happened to me during that time. I have taken many an hour at different coffeehouses between 3 different countries and more than a few guitar strings broken in trying to put together the various emotions and thoughts that captured me during my time in JingZhou.

Before i get into any detail I must say a few disclaimers, the first of which would be I am not writing this out of any spite or malice towards anyone. Second, I do not write this to get back at anyone or try push any personal agenda. This is blog post is meant to get a few things off my chest. I have shared my story with many (including some of those who were with me in China at the time) and try to be as fair and loving as possible. I hope that all of the workers in China that i have known are doing well i want nothing but the best for them and their different works. I hope that Our Father makes their cup overflow.
This blog is meant to maybe help others that have been in a similar situation and as a personal therapy session. So where to being?

When I first got there.....

There are few things in life, (of this" long" life i have had), i will consider as such a joy as the first time I meet the Chinese brother and sisters of JingZhou. It felt like i was being welcomed into a family with open arms. They saw me not as an outsider, which i was by all respects, but as a brother, somehow coming home. This was apparent by the Chinese name given to me, mao mao, (roughly translated meaning "little cute hairy" thing, usually given to small dogs).
I tried my best to acclimate to the culture and they tried their best to show me how. It was a beautiful time. Any of the early church fathers would have been proud of the way they poured out their love towards me.
Meeting the foreigners was not exactly a homecoming. I was welcomed, but it felt more like I was the foreigner out of the group. There were things unsaid that came to become things assumed and later, things worth not saying. The more I hung out with many of the other foreigners the more I felt like I was the one who was from another country.

I came wanting to help but found out more and more that I, because of my beliefs, was "hurting" the group. I was the alien in an alien land. There were few foreigners that I could relate with, and now looking back, I saw what began a spiral into what I feel was a time of depression.

On being excommunicated.

It all started off with a prayer. Not even my prayer, but the prayer of a Chinese brother. He was not baptized in the traditional (as of Church of Christ) sense so he was not worthy of saying a prayer for the group. This started a chain of questionings that would lead me to more than a few "meetings" on who believed what and why. It was all basically fruitless, painful and well...wasteful. There was a pinnacle, a moment of truth where I was asked what exactly I believed. I did not give the answer others wanted to hear. At that point and time it was clear that I was no longer welcomed with the group i came over with. And worst off, some of the Chinese were even asked this question and did not give the "correct answer" and they too were seen as, "wrong". At the end of this meeting I was left alone. I was uninvited. I was wrong....not just my thoughts...but me, my soul, my inner most was wrong and therefore I was not to be trusted.

It is an interesting thing to be left out of church things as a Worker. I was never officially asked to leave, but of what everyone told me, I got the idea. Now, I was at a crossroads. Do I try to stick it out with the other foreigners or start something on my own? While this question was swimming through my mind I had something happen....forgiveness, kinda. I had several of the foreigners come and say they were sorry that they had treated me unkindly. I knew for some of them this was a big step and I gladly accepted it. On the other hand, I don't feel they addressed the real issue at hand. I was less concerned about how they treated me as how they treated the Chinese Brothers and Sisters. Also, about the example that was made from the situation.

In China it is not uncommon for Churches and meetings to happen totally unaware of each other. There are so many people, and while it is not illegal to be a Christian, it is sometimes not very popular. I wanted to teach and be an example of how Brothers and Sisters can still work and live together even though they may disagree on deep feelings. It made me think of the difference between "unified" and "conformity".

When we are "unified", it does not matter about what we disagree on, as long as our Father is at the center of it all. Where each person has their hand open to the Creator saying, "Here is what I believe and know, take it and form it to you" From here He is able to take and shape, break and mold into what He wants. Since He is in control of the shaping, people can disagree, yet still work together knowing that they are willing to be changed.
"Conformity" comes from the angel of, this is what I believe, which is what you need to believe too. From this approach, peoples hearts aren't willing to be changed. There is a shift in thought from, "Let's do this" to "You better do it like this". That is what I felt and that is what I knew my first year in China. I "didn't do things this way" and because of that I was to be watched and corrected.

Correcting and the East Side

I guess I needed alot of correction because it seemed like everything I did was "wrong". What I said/did and wanted to do during the Dinner, Singing together and well, sometimes it seemed even the way I read the Book was to be corrected. To all of this I tried to be a peace keeper, to submit and try not to cause a scene. I never intended to come and try to be different. I didn't want to be the guy that stood out from the crowd and cause others to go against the tide. I truly did want to work with the others, but it seemed like I was just not the "right" guy for it.
At this point I knew it was time to make a change. There was an open apartment on the other side of town and i decided to move on up to the East Side, campus that was. I cannot stress this enough, but my apartment was AMAZING! (for China that was)

I had a toilet that was on the INSIDE of the apartment, a tub with HEAT LAMPS! (Yay for dry laundry). I now had 2 sinks (as the last apt i was in had only one in the shower room), hard wood flooring and windows that i didn't have to cover in plastic to keep out the cold. It was awesome. It also provided something else....retreat. I had a place away from just about all the other foreigners and well....I am sorry to say that I really liked that. It was a place where many of the other Chinese Brothers and Sisters would come to know as a retreat as well. It was not uncommon to have 2-3 people spending the night 3-4 night out of the week. It was a time when people moved from being people I knew to become people I loved.

Depression?
With this new found retreat came new temptations. One of which was that to hide my feelings in and let them rot. I was not so much mad at anyone nor wanting apologies, I just felt alone. I must clarify, it was not alone that I didn't have friends there. There other Chinese Brothers and Sisters were a constant in my apartment and well, it was always great to have them around. I even had other foreigner friends in other cities that I visited on a very regular basis. No, it wasn't because of the lack of friends, it was the lack of connection. There were just so many ways that I felt that I differed from in my community that I let those things separate me more than they should have. I should have focused on things that we had in common, even if they were few than look at those things and see them as a separator. I let the fears and thoughts of me causing more trouble push me away from the group, rather than try to find ways I could connect. It was not a healthy choice.
I found myself seeking the dark. I watch DVD's till 2 or 3 am, not because I was interested, but because it when I knew I would be all by myself. I wanted to be be alone, because that is the way I felt on the inside. I wanted that to match on the outside because there were too many unknowns with trying to reach out to the others that I knew. I did not know it at the time, but this was a dark part of my life.

End of Part 1
I only experienced a few "highs" in China. It seemed like canyons, valleys and some sharp peeks. I feel this may be part of why I know I was meant to be there. I had heard that our Father calls us and tries us not because He wants us to be "happy", but becuase he wants us to "grow". Growth can hurt, it did for me. But it was growth, which is way more important than any "happyness" that I may know. The Father wanted me to grow, He knew, much more than I did at the time, what this would produce. Patience, endurance, perseverence and self-control are words that are much more real to me now than before.

I decided to go back, not because I was going to try and change the other foreigners or to start my own meeting, but becuase I knew i wanted to help, how ever that may be. I learned about some of my strengths and how I was blessed with an ability to help cultivate planted seeds, not so much the sowing/planting, there are plenty of those people in China. I knew of the need that I wanted to fulfill, I knew that even if i was alone, I wanted to be there for my Brothers and Sisters as long as I could.

I went home ready to recover and recharge, I went back wanting to rebuild and serve. I had no idea what Our Father had in mind, but it with just the help of 2 people, it changed my life towards work in the Fields.

More to come in Part 2

Allan

Jonly Bonly

I like this guy, Henry Cho.

Vin de Pays

So a little update blog.

I recently played a show with very the very talented and great friend of my Brian Jones at Vin de Pays, at wine bar/shop in Long Beach. I have to say that it was an absolute blast! Brian and I have played together several times between college and now out in the "real" world. He is an actor by trade but has been playing guitar longer than i have by several years. He knows how to improv and solo on the spot (both things i suck at) and can sing very well (again something i suck at).

It was a great time and I hope that we are able to play again in the somewhat near future. Check out photos.

Allan