Things of China 2

So this is a continuation of my previous China post "Things of China 1". In that post I talk about the lessons that I learned through being somewhat excommunicated while doing Work in China. It was a very dark yet very big time of growth in my life. Now I continue with what I learned in my last semester in China.

Again I am writing this not out of spite or anger, but rather to get some things off of my chest. It has been nearly 2 years since I returned and i have had some time to process my feelings and thoughts from that time. So here we go......

Coming back Cali

Getting back into California was heaven. I ate, ate, ate and ate. Cheese was on the menu almost everyday, as were Deluxe Chili Cheese fries from Del Taco and In-N-Out. It was interesting coming back to Cali because it was a major case of reverse culture shock. It wasn't that I didn't miss everything, it just I had to re-adjust to life in the states. Driving was more than stressful, super markets never seemed so big and well....I missed the Family in China. I loved being with all my friends and family in Cali and it felt so good to be with them, hang out, play guitar and well....drink amazing beer and wine. Anyone that knows me knows I love trying new wines and beers. I hate being anywhere near drunk for several reasons (First I know Our Father doesn't want us to be drunk and second I HATE not having control over my body, and well, hang overs suck.) But I love the art and craft of brewing and the skill and taste of wine making. They are liquid art. I say all of this because there was almost NO good beer or wine in China, I would have to go about 4 hours by bus just to get to a city where i could buy good beer, wine, COFFEE, bread, cereal, milk, cheese, candy, brownies, soups, PB & J or butter. Yeah, so I was in heaven.

Going Home
So being in Cali for a summer was great at the same time, I felt the pull of my former life in China. I left America with 2 things in my mind and heart. First, what in the world am I doing?! Was I not just going back to the lions den of loneliness? Second, I never want to fly on this airline ever again! Way too small seats and well....the movies sucked.
Getting back into my apartment was great. The first few nights were spent being around Brothers and Sisters that I loved. The big talk was about starting a new meeting as soon as they saw me. I knew to expect this, but I really didn't want to address this just yet. This was part of the past year still looming overhead. Many people wanted me to just start up a new Meeting and that would kinda make things better. I knew it wouldn't, but it sure did seem that way. I knew that if i started one by myself that it would still hold too many strings to what happened before. This may seem selfish, but it was never out of pride that I wanted to start anything new. I knew there Chinese were hurting, bad, yet if something new was going to start, i knew it was going to have to be not just becuase of me.

The Taylors
While settling in, I also heard about a new-ish couple in town, Taylors. They were from Tennessee and it kinda freaked me out. I knew i wanted to hang out with them, but didn't know how much. Within a week we had met and planed to hit up dinner and a tea house. Within the first few hours that i met Dale and Lisa i could tell they were different from many of the other foreigers that I had meet before in China. We just clicked. Our talk was filled with laughter and they had a vision very similar to mine, meetings where the foreigners were in 2nd or 3 place. Offering support and leadership but not being the "leaders". They wanted to be in China because of exactly that, they wanted to be in CHINA. Dale was reading a book about Mao and Lisa had a good grasp on Madarin much more than the other foreigners in our town.
With many of the other foreigners I felt like i had to walk on egg shells around them. One wrong word and I would achieve an awkard silence or rolled eyes. In some ways this was fairly amusing and I would do it just to get a reaction. Other times it was in moments of sencerity and I was looked on as wrong. With Dale and Lisa I spoke openly. Weather we agreed or thought totally in the opposite direction, we still showed a mutual love for eachother. I never worried about how i would make the feel uncomfortable that I enjoyed having A beer or that I like the Godfather. We were united because we had a common goal, serving our Father. And within a month we started something new.

A new Meeting
It was a small dinner at the Taylor's when we decided to start up a new Meeting. It wasn't a secret that we were thinking about it, but it took a bit of Thought (that is not a typo) and care to really decide if we wanted to do that. The last thing I wanted to do was cause another stir, but it seemed like if we continued to meet with the other foreigners THAT would cause an even bigger stir.
My thoughts at this time very mixed, and I didn't show it, or atleast I didn't think i showed them. I tried to act confident about what we were doing but it was such a worry on my mind. I didn't know how the other foreigners were going to act. If we were going to have to have a bunch of new 'meetings' about what was being taught or how we were wrong.
Looking back now i was scared. I had so many of the memories and feelings still clogged up inside me and i didn't know exactly how to let out. Dale and Lisa became refuge for me. We talked alot. Much of which wasn't serious, mainly just regular talk, something that anyone in a foreign country needs. It was relief not to walk on egg shells in conversation or wonder what would come back to haunt me.
We started the new Meeting at their place in mid-October, i think. It was a small group of mainly the people that didn't had felt outed or the other foreigners and a few new students that Dale and Lisa knew. It was simple, open and wonderful. I felt like so many of the other meetings tried to take American meetings and make them happen in China. We didn't want that and our Meeting showed it. We had several Brothers and Sisters share lessons, songs could be led by anyone in the group and the songs were sung all in Chinese and we tried to sing mainly songs written by Chinese. The Chinese loved it, but there were some challenges.
Several times we were asked why we didn't do things like the other foreigners. Then there was a time a Chinese brother was told we were doing things wrong. It was a challenge. We tried to answer with grace and love towards the other foreigners, but, atleast for me, it was hard sometimes. I think Dale and Lisa let these things roll off their back better than I.
Our Meetings went on, with numbers varying from few to many, but we really didn't care about numbers, we cared about the people coming.

Getting Ready to Go
For my last two and a half months in China I spent as much time as possible between Dale and Lisa and my Chinese Brothers and Sisters. There are many other stories to tell, but i don't want to get off focused too much. I mainly want to come back to the Chinese.
I knew early in the semester that this would probably be my last semester in China, atleast for a while. I had an student loans that i wasn't able to pay off and well, i wanted to get to paying them off and get my credential solidified. I didn't want to leave, really didn't want to leave. By the end of December I was planning a 3 week trip from Chang Chun (north eastern China) back down to jing Zhou. I had done this before and loved being on the road. As i was getting ready to leave so were many of the Chinese.
In China it is not uncommon for someone to just pick up and go in a weekend. One week a Brother or Sister would be finishing classes and then Friday say, "I am leaving to 'Random city on the other side of China' tomorrow, i want to say goodbye" Many people were looking and finding jobs all over the country. I made special time to hang out with some who had had an especially large impact in my life. They were the few that i had known since day 1. To me they were as close as an of my friends in the states and leaving them would be like any of my friends leaving. We had a great time! One of my favorite times was smoking cigars with some of the Chinese Brothers at a Tea house and then on another night going out to eat dog. (Yes, it is good and you should try it some day) We had a blast.

Leaving
I hit the road for my travels with a sad heart knowing i would be coming back just to say goodbye. It was a good trip, but i had some of my worst experiences ever! I visited a friend that was really struggling in some of the same ways that I had. She was with a group of other young women who were much more conservative than her. I came to visit for a few days and we had fun. I did happen to roll a couple of eyes as I play a song called, "Pink Triangle", but other than that, didn't cause too much of a stir. I then went to Beijing on a sleeper bus. I could write a how page on how bad that was, but will save you from it for now. From Beijing i went back to Wuhan and stayed with Marisol one last time. Again her place was filled with laughter and good food. I can never thank her enough for all the mexican food i had at her place.
Going back to Jingzhou was interesting. The ride seemed almost short. (a normal trip on bus was about 4 hours) I knew all the land marks and felt like i was really going home. I had only a few days before my plane took off to say my goodbyes and do some last minute shopping. It was a whirl wind of busyness.
The day i was suppose to leave I had a more than a few Chinese Brothers and Sisters stay the night at my place. They helped me clean my place, get thinges ready for the next guy and tried to help me pack. In the morning I got everything ready and had my bags in hand when i had to stop. It was a tradition that whenever a Brother or Sister would leave, the Family would gather over them. I had done this with many and now it was my turn. I have never been to filled with joy, sadness and hope. They spoke kind words in English and Chinese. My favorite request was that i find a "hot girlfriend" (check). I left feeling nothing but love and that love still remains in my heart.

A Uncertian Adjustment
Coming back to the states was interesting. I knew I wanted to go back to China and was telling people and myself to get back there by 2012. I still hold that to this day. My plans are to get the rest of my credential cleared, maybe go back to school for a masters and then head to China for a while. How long i don't know. I love the quote, "If you want to make The Father laugh, make plans" I am trying to keep my heart and plans open to His will. I know that I want to go back to doing that kind of Work, and China is very much in my heart, but I want to be willing to change to His will. That is still a lesson i am trying and will always be trying to learn.

Allan